


we haven't just yet, but my head's spinning

by countthestars



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, endgame liam/louis, lots of pining, whoops had to repost sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-18
Updated: 2013-11-18
Packaged: 2018-01-01 23:21:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1049782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/countthestars/pseuds/countthestars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“I don’t think I caught your name,” the boys says, apparently unaware of Liam’s inner turmoil.<br/>“It’s Liam,” he chokes out.<br/>“Louis.” The boy sticks out a hand, grips Liam’s firmly. “Pleasure to meet you, Liam. I’m looking forward to tomorrow night.” He shoots Liam a flirtatious wink before turning back towards his cabin. The cabin that he is sharing</i> with his boyfriend. <i>Liam needs to stop forgetting this very important detail.<i></i></i></p><p>
  <i>
    <i>Liam is a ranch hand. Louis is a complication.</i>
  </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	we haven't just yet, but my head's spinning

**Author's Note:**

> i'm just [saying](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meleinQeM71qfbpnc.jpg).
> 
> title from 'why can't i' by liz phair

Liam’s just finished mucking the last stall when Niall pops his blonde head into the barn.

“Liam!” he exclaims. “Zayn said you’d be in here.”

“Where else would I be?” The stalls need to be mucked every day and they’ve been shorthanded since Matt and Aiden quit last week. Well, not quit so much as asked, very strongly, to resign.

Okay, they were fired loudly and publically after a family of four caught them rolling around in the hay. He wishes that was a euphemism, but he has it on good authority they were literally tumbling around in the hay loft.

It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if they hadn’t been completely nude at the time. Normally Liam wouldn’t believe such a salacious rumor, but the remaining employees at Syco Ranch were required to attend an emergency staff meeting and bluntly informed of the ranch’s newly-instated “no sex in the barn or while you’re on duty or in literally any public place keep it in your bunks for fuck’s sake this is a family friend resort” policy.

Simon, owner and operator of Syco, doesn’t really beat around the bush.

“I dunno, at lunch like a normal person? You do eat, don’t ya, Liam?” Niall answers, tossing an apple up and catching it repeatedly.

“Lunch?” Liam asks, “but it’s only…” He trails off at Niall’s knowing smirk. “It’s lunch time, isn’t it?” he sighs. He needs to invest in a watch.

“Past lunch, actually,” Niall says, finally biting into the apple. Liam crosses his arms in disapproval. It isn’t nice to tease the horses like that. Now they’ll all want apples. “Don’t worry,” Niall adds, “saved you a plate.”

Liam loves Niall. He’s the best cook on the ranch. Or, rather, the only cook, but still. It’s the thought that counts.

“Thanks,” Liam says gratefully. “I just have to finish sweeping up in here, and then I’ll head straight over to the cafeteria, yeah?”

“Take your time. ‘m in no hurry.” As if to emphasize his point, Niall flops down on a stack of hay bales stacked neatly by the door, still munching his apple. Liam would politely ask him to help finish up, but he’s seen Niall’s kitchen. Honestly, he’s not sure how Niall still has a job. There have to be at least five glaring health code violations on the prep table alone. Niall’s got this charm though, that makes it impossible to fire him, let alone reprimand him.

That, and he really is an incredible cook.

Once Liam’s finished sweeping up the last bits of hay and the barn is absolutely spotless, he stops to pet his favorite horses (and feeds a bite of apple to Iron Man, because he feels bad about Niall teasing him and he’s Liam’s secret favorite), they finally make their way to the cafeteria in the main building. It’s a fair walk from the barn, because despite Syco Ranch being an actual ranch, guests tend to get upset if they can smell the stink of manure when they’re dining on Niall’s fine cuisine.

Niall takes them through the back employee entrance, which leads straight into the ranch kitchen. He presents Liam with a full plate of steaming lunch that he’d been keeping warm in the oven. He may not keep the cleanest of kitchens, but there’s a reason Simon keeps him on despite it. Liam nearly groans in pleasure as he polishes off the mashed potatoes. Niall grins in satisfaction as the kitchen door squeaks open and Zayn strolls in.

He smells like smoke and no doubt was just out for a cigarette break. Liam grunts in acknowledgment at him around a mouthful of potato and Niall claps him on the shoulder.

“What’s up, Zayn?”

“Just had two guests check in this afternoon.”

“That’s great, Zayn,” Liam says politely after swallowing his mouthful.

“Yeh, pal, real happy for ya,” Niall adds.

Zayn rolls his eyes. “If you two morons would shut it for a minute, I could tell you the rest, yeah? Two blokes checked in, booked the honeymoon suite.” Zayn waggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Two fit blokes, I might add. Like, really, really fit.”

“They’re probably on a romantic getaway.” Liam reasons.

Niall snorts. “Yeh, ‘cause there’s nothing more romantic than a bunch of horse shit.” He pauses, glances at Liam. “Uh. No offense, Liam.”

And okay, just because Liam is vocal about the useful properties of manure, especially as a natural fertilizer, does not mean he thinks horse shit is romantic. God.

“I don’t know,” Zayn says slowly, ignoring Niall completely. “I got kind of a weird vibe. There was like, a lot of tension between them? One of them seemed downright pissed off.”

“Oh, well,” Niall shrugs dismissively. “I’m sure the healing power of horses will get them sorted, right, Liam?”

Liam flicks a bit of mashed potato at him. Zayn rolls his eyes and mutters, “fucking children” under his breath.

Niall grins and rubs his mashed potato covered cheek against Zayn’s shoulder. Yelping, Zayn swats him away, rubbing at the greasy smear on his sleeve and threatening to kill him in a variety of creative ways.

Typical day at the ranch, then.

 

*

 

Liam should not be listening to this.

“Seriously, Harry? A dude ranch. What were you thinking?”

“You said we never spend time together anymore. I thought a vacation, just the two of us, would help. I’m trying here, okay?”

“Yeah, a vacation to the beach. Or, like, Paris. Somewhere, I don’t know, romantic? Fuck, Harry, I don’t even know the difference between a cow and horse!”

Liam should definitely not be listening to this. He needs to pick up his feet, which seemed to be glued to the ground, and keep walking back to staff quarters to shower off the sweat from his work out. He needs to not keep standing here, eavesdropping on what sounds like a very personal conversation taking place inside one of the guest cabins.

“Oh. Well, cows have udders, don’t they? And the boys, the um, steers? They’ve got horns, I think.”

“Oh my god. I don’t care. I’m going to see if I can find some wifi. Enjoy your fucking cows.”

A door slams and Liam can hear footsteps on the creaking steps to the cabin. He needs to move, now, or the boy is going to see him and realize that Liam has heard his entire argument with his, god, his boyfriend? Fiancé?

Of course, Liam panics and just freezes, standing there like a dolt as the boy walks around the corner of the cabin and smacks straight into him.

“Sorry mate! Didn’t see you there. Hey, do you know if there’s internet access anywhere around here?”

“Um.” Shit, shit, shit. The boy asked a question and Liam is standing there gaping at him like a dead fish. It’s just, Liam’s never seen someone so breathtaking before. It’s possible the loss of breath is because the boy slammed into him pretty hard, but like. Semantics. Syntax? Liam thinks it’s an ‘s’ word. Zayn would know.

All Liam knows is that this boy is positively beautiful, with these high cheeks bones and sharp jawline and incredible, piercing eyes.

“Yeah, I mean, uh, no.”

The boy raises an eyebrow. “That wasn’t meant to be a trick question.” He gestures to a bag slung over his shoulder that looks like a laptop case. “I was hoping I could get some work done, if it’s possible for me to get online?”

Liam clears his throat. He can do this. He can. “I mean, yes, there is internet access in the main building. But the lounge closes at 10pm, so you’ll have to wait until tomorrow morning.”

“There’s no way to get in after 10?” He looks Liam up and down and Liam is very aware of the sweat stains on his white tee, probably visible in the dim lighting from the cabin’s porch lamp.

Liam shakes his head. “No, I don’t have a key or anything. You’d have to break in.”

He’s joking, but the boy’s face breaks into a mischievous smile. “Are you suggesting we commit B&E? I have to say, we’re moving a little fast in this relationship, becoming partners in crime so quickly, but I do like where your head’s at.”

“No, no, I was kidding!” Liam backpedals quickly. Also, “B&E?”

“Breaking and entering? Are you not a fan of crime dramas?”

“I don’t really watch a lot of TV,” Liam admits. “I’m pretty busy with the ranch, you know, taking care of the horses or whatever.”

“Is that what you were doing so late at night?” the boy asks curiously, gesturing to Liam’s sweaty shirt. “Manly horse stuff?”

Liam’s thankful for the dark that hopefully is disguising his blush. “Er, no? I was actually working out.”

The boy’s eyebrows shoot up. “Let me clarify. You do ranch stuff all day, which sounds like a lot of heavy lifting, and when you do have free time, instead of relaxing and watching TV like a normal person, you go work out?”

Shrugging, Liam looks down at his feet. “I mean, yeah? Shoveling maneuver builds a lot of arm strength, but it doesn’t really work out all of your muscles. Besides, lifting is kind of relaxing. Don’t have to think, you know?”

“Sure,” the boy agrees, biting at his lip. Liam’s eyes drop involuntarily to his mouth for a moment before he snaps his gaze back to the boy’s eyes. In the dim lighting, they’re an indiscernible light color and glint like ice. “That sounds… nice,” the boy adds. “Do you think…” he trails off, biting his lip again.

“Yeah?” Liam asks, sternly reminding himself that this boy is off the market, that Liam just heard him talking (fighting, a gleeful voice in his head corrects) with his boyfriend.

“I mean, I’ve worked out some,” the boy continues, “but you clearly know what you’re doing. Could you, like, spot me or whatever?”

“Spot you?” Liam parrots.

“Is that what it’s called, even? Just, like, show me how to work the equipment, help me figure out a good workout that’ll get me in shape without killing me.” He smiles up at Liam and Liam feels his stomach swoop.

“Yeah, I mean--” he stutters out.

“Great!” The boy beams at him. “I’ll just meet you in the gym tomorrow night then. It’s off the main building, right?”

“Right,” Liam confirms. Shit. He did not mean to agree to this. He’s thinking furiously, trying to figure out a graceful way out of this mess, knowing he can’t possibly make it through a workout with this boy without embarrassing himself.

“I don’t think I caught your name,” the boys says, apparently unaware of Liam’s inner turmoil.

“It’s Liam,” he chokes out.

“Louis.” The boy sticks out a hand, grips Liam’s firmly. “Pleasure to meet you, Liam. I’m looking forward to tomorrow night.” He shoots Liam a flirtatious wink before turning back towards his cabin. The cabin that he is sharing with his boyfriend. Liam needs to stop forgetting this very important detail.

Shaking his head, Liam finally moves from the spot he’s been rooted to and makes it back to the staff quarters without further incident. He grabs his towel and shower stuff before heading to the dorm-style bathroom the staff all share.

He’s relieved to see that he has the bathroom to himself tonight and groans as the hot water pounds down on his aching muscles. He tries to ignore the hard on he’s had since his conversation with Louis, but it’s so rare he’s actually able to take a shower with no one else within ear-shot that he gives in and wraps a hand around his throbbing cock.

It doesn’t take long before his hips are stuttering into his fist and he’s biting his lip to hold back a whimper. Louis’ face flashes in his mind, the way he had to crane his neck in order to meet Liam’s eyes, and Liam imagines the way he would look, flushed and panting beneath him.

He comes abruptly, hand braced against the slick tiled wall, and bites his own bicep to smother his moan.

After the swirling water washes the evidence down the drain, Liam shuts off the shower. He stands there a moment, trying to calm his heavy breathing.

He is so fucked.

 

*

 

Liam tosses and turns all night. The few times he does drift off to sleep, he has dreams of a pixie-faced boy and bright, bright blue eyes. He wakes up painfully hard, despite last night’s wank, and takes a cold shower.

It doesn’t help.

Throwing on whatever’s clean, he scrambles to finish getting ready. It’s a sign how desperate he is that he doesn’t even stop by the barn, just goes straight to the main building. He rushes through the front door and is momentarily surprised to see that no one is manning the front desk. Glancing at the clock, he groans. Of course Zayn isn’t at his post yet. It’s barely 6am.

Suddenly feeling the impact of his rough night and in desperate need of caffeine, Liam goes through the employees’ door and into the kitchen. The delicious smell of bacon frying permeates the room and Liam’s mouth waters.

Niall is presiding over the stove, spatula flashing as he cooks food in four skillets at once. Zayn is sitting on the counter next to the stove, hunched over a steaming cup of coffee. He looks half-asleep.

Neither boy glances up when Liam bursts into the room.

“Zayn.”

Zayn grunts. He is awake, then.

“Zayn. You didn’t tell me he was fit.”

At this, Zayn finally looks up. “Who’s fit?” he asks dumbly.

“The boy. Louis.”

Zayn rolls his eyes. “I did tell you he was fit. That is specifically what I said.”

“Said he was ‘fucking fit’,” Niall adds, not looking away from the stove.

“Zayn,” Liam whines again.

“What?” he snaps, before pausing to study Liam a little more closely, taking in the dark circles under his eyes. “Oh, fuck. Liam. He is here with his boyfriend. You can’t--”

“I didn’t!” Liam interrupts. “And I won’t. I’m not a home wrecker. I just.” Liam stops, rubs a hand over his buzzed hair.

“I told you,” Zayn says again, but softer.

Niall just slides him a plate of bacon, still sizzling from the skillet.

It looks delicious, but Liam’s not hungry.

“I need to get out the barn,” he says. “I’ll see you guys at lunch.”

He flees the kitchen, doesn’t want to see the looks of judgment – or worse, pity – in his friends’ eyes. He’ll be safe in the barn, can lose himself in the monotonous routine of shoveling manure.

Besides, the horses will never judge him. It’s one constant in Liam’s life, and for that, he’s more grateful than he can say.

 

*

 

The part-time ranch hands Simon has hired are, for once, actually competent at their jobs. That, or Liam’s mental anguish has translated into him finishing the barn chores in record time, because he’s actually on time for lunch today. It’s a good thing, because after skipping breakfast, he’s absolutely starved.

In the cafeteria, Niall greets him with a heaping plate of food and a huge grin. “You should’ve stayed for breakfast, Liam. You missed all the drama.”

“You know I don’t like gossip,” Liam reminds him gently, shoveling food into his mouth. Zayn would be disgusted, he thinks proudly.

Niall examines his fingernails, aiming for casual indifference and failing spectacularly. “Oh, so you don’t want to hear about how your pretty blue-eyed boy got into a huge fight with his boyfriend at breakfast, then? Guess I can keep all the spicy details to myself.”

Liam drops his fork. “Louis got into another fight with Harry?”

“Another?” Niall echoes. “You mean they got into a fight before? And you didn’t tell me?”

Zayn slides into the seat next to Niall and steals some chips from Liam’s plate. “Niall, you are overly invested in everyone else’s business. What do you care if guests fight? They’re just gonna leave after a few days anyway.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Niall shoots Zayn an aggrieved look. “It’s a live action soap opera. Its Days of Our Lives right here in our own cafeteria. Don’t act like you’re above petty drama.”

“Can we get back to the fight?” Liam interjects.

“Thought you didn’t like gossip,” Niall taunts.

Liam closes his eyes. “I’m making an exception. Tell me.”

Pleased that he finally has an attentive audience, Niall needs no further prompting before he launches into his tale. There are numerous unnecessary references to food – Liam really doesn’t care which of Niall’s expertly prepared meals they were eating during the argument – but Niall will sulk if Liam complains and he can’t quite explain why, but he needs to know the details of their disagreement.

“So then Harry said, ‘all you do is work anyway, I don’t know why you even agreed to come on this trip,’ and Louis was all, ‘the deposit was non-refundable. Next time you plan a big romantic surprise, make sure you can get your fucking money back’ and stormed out.”

“I gotta go with Louis on this one,” Zayn says. “If my boyfriend surprised me with a trip to a dude ranch, I’d probably dump him on the spot.”

Niall does not look at Zayn as he asks in a careful voice, “What would you want your boyfriend to surprise you with, then?”

“Dunno,” Zayn shrugs. “Something actually romantic? Maybe, like…” he pauses, ducking his head.

Niall elbows him in the stomach. “Like what?”

“Well, it’s kind of cliché, or whatever, but you know that scene at the end of Say Anything, where John Cusack holds the boombox over his head? I’d want some cheesy romantic gesture like that.”

“Huh,” Niall says, scratching his cheek thoughtfully.

“It’d be better than a trip to a fucking horse ranch, all right?” Zayn scowls, crossing his arms over his chest like he can cover a moment of honesty with his tough guy façade.

Liam just shakes his head. Some people can’t see what’s right in front of them.

 

*

 

The barn is spotless and Liam’s afternoon is completely free. He doesn’t have any riding lessons scheduled and doesn’t have to lead any trail rides until the weekend. It’s weird to have so much time on his hands, but Liam takes advantage of it to spend more quality time with the horses.

He’d contemplated taking Miss Bennett out for a ride, see if he couldn’t help the poor mare work through her fear of water, but he’d been distracted after he stopped to feed Iron Man a carrot. Liam tried really hard not to have favorites, because it wasn’t fair to the others, but he couldn’t deny that this horse had a special place in his heart.

Liam had spotted the gelding at a horse auction, bone thin and pathetic looking with the gentlest eyes Liam had ever seen, and all but begged Simon to buy him. The horse had been written off as glue-factory material, but Simon had reluctantly given into Liam, allowing him only a few months to nurse the horse back to health before he threatened put him back on the auction block.

Liam understood Simon had a business to run, couldn’t fund a charity for abused and neglected horses, but he would be damned if he let this one get away. He’d christened the horse Iron Man after his favorite superhero and worked night and day with the gentle animal, coaxing him to eat and build up his bulk and showering him with love, teaching him how to trust again.

That was a few years ago, and today Iron Man was healthier than ever. Despite the no doubt years of abuse he’d endured before Liam found him, he was one of the most easy going horses on the ranch and perfect for first time riders.

Liam is always careful to spend a little more time with Iron Man and today is no exception. He’s whispering confessions into the horse’s soft fur, arms wrapped around his neck, when the barn door creaks open.

Giving Iron Man one last pat, Liam sticks his head out the stall door. He’s met with the sight of Louis’ curly-haired boy, whose face lights up when he spots Liam.

“Hey, are you Liam?” he asks.

“Yes,” he replies cautiously.

Harry smiles brightly at him. “The guy up at the main building, Zayn I think? He said you, like, take people on trail rides with the horses.” Harry gestures vaguely at the stalls.

“I do,” Liam confirms. “Are you interested?”

Nodding enthusiastically, Harry continues, “Zayn said that there’s a special one that’s kind of, um, romantic? Like you go and watch the sunset or something? Can I sign up for that?”

Liam is going to kill Zayn. Murder him. Zayn knows very well there isn’t a romantic sunset ride. It’s too dangerous for an experienced rider like Liam to travel the trails around the ranch at night, let alone lead two complete novices.

“Sorry,” he says, “but I think Zayn was mistaken. We don’t actually offer any trail rides like that.”

Harry’s face falls. “You don’t?”

Liam shakes his head. “It’d be too dangerous. We’d have to take tents, spend the night out there because I couldn’t take you guys back once it got dark.”

“But that would be perfect! Louis and I could watch the sunset together and then spend time with each other, nothing to distract us.” He shoots Liam this charming grin, dimples out in full force. “Please, Liam? It would mean so much to me. To me and Louis both.”

Liam sighs. He can feel the guilt eating away at him, knowing that he came to the thought of Louis, that he plans to meet him tonight to work out. God, he’s a terrible person. Maybe he owes this to Harry. “I can’t tonight, but…” oh god, he’s going to regret this, he already knows. “I should have enough time to prep if you want to go later this week.”

“Thank you! You’re the best, Liam,” Harry beams, hugging him tightly.

“Ah, yeah, no problem,” Liam says, carefully extracting himself from Harry’s embrace. “But both of you need to sign for up for a riding lesson beforehand, okay? I don’t take people out on the trails until they have a basic understanding of horsemanship.”

“Of course,” Harry agrees, nodding his head eagerly. “I’ll go tell Lou right now. Thanks again, Liam!” He positively skips out of the barn.

Liam glances back at Iron Man, who’s watching Liam with his gentle eyes.

“Fuck,” Liam says to no one at all.

 

*

 

Its approaching 8’o’clock when Liam enters the gym. Normally, he likes working out at this time because there’s no one else around and he can have the place to himself.

Tonight, he’s thankful because it means there’s less of a chance someone will spot him and Louis together.

And, okay, it’s not like they’re doing anything wrong. It’s just lifting weights. People do that together all the time. It’s totally, definitely not a big deal that he is incredibly attracted to Louis and agreed to take him and his boyfriend on a romantic, overnight trail ride.

It’s totally cool.

Liam’s just settled on which machine he wants to start with when Louis arrives, greeting Liam with a cheeky grin. Liam smiles back, pretends it doesn’t feel forced. He gestures for Louis to come over, and Louis looks around at the various machines a little apprehensively as he walks towards Liam.

“I’m not actually a trainer, you know,” Liam offers. “So like, don’t feel obligated to work out with me if it makes you uncomfortable.”

Louis scoffs. “Please, Liam. I trust you. Where shall we start?”

All his careful planning flies out of his head and Liam points blindly towards the closest machine. Louis trusts him. Rationally, Liam knows Louis means specifically here, in this gym. He can’t help the wave of guilt that resurfaces, gnawing away at his stomach. Louis shouldn’t trust him. All Liam wants to do is ruin him.

Louis, of course, is completely oblivious to Liam’s spiraling thoughts. Scolding himself, Liam directs Louis to sit on the bench and shows him the different ways he can grip the bar, how each position works out a different set of muscles.

They work their way around the room like that, Liam assisting Louis in using the equipment and Louis cracking jokes that make Liam burst into laughter, despite his misgivings about the whole situation. Louis is a lot of fun to be around, and if Liam could shake the cloak of guilt hanging over him, he would easily count it as one of the best nights of his life.

It’s a little sad, maybe, but Liam can’t honestly remember having this much fun in ages. Louis is proper funny, and Liam is probably imagining the flirtatious tone to his banter. He’s probably imagining the heat in Louis’ gaze when Liam lets his fingertips linger a bit too long on Louis’ flushed skin. The hitch in Louis’ breath is no doubt from the strain of pushing his muscles to their limit, not from the way Liam accidentally grazes his thumb across the exposed stripe of Louis’ back as his shirt rides up.

Liam focuses on the fact that Louis has a boyfriend, repeating Harry’s name in his head like a mantra, a warning, never letting himself forget, even for a moment.

He absolutely doesn’t think about the way Louis looks when he’s sweaty and exhausted. At the end of their workout, he bids Louis good night, and imagines, no doubt, the look of regret in his ice blue eyes before he turns away and heads back to the staff quarters.

Liam takes a cold shower, but it still doesn’t help. Eventually, he gives in and takes himself in hand, and if he groans Louis’ name when he comes, well, that’s between him and the shower wall.

It takes him a long time to fall asleep that night.

 

*

 

The next morning, Liam ambushes Niall and Zayn in the kitchen, intent on grilling Zayn on what the hell he’d been thinking. The problem is that Zayn’s not there.

Niall, however, shoots him a sly look over his shoulder. “Hear you’ve got big plans this week.”

“Where’s Zayn?” Liam growls.

“Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist. He’ll show up sooner or later.” Niall resumes cooking whatever’s on the menu for breakfast. It smells delicious. Liam opts to pace aggressively around the kitchen until Zayn shows, which just seems to amuse Niall.

After ten minutes of this, however, Niall’s patience starts to run thin. “Can you go sulk somewhere else? You’re being bloody annoying.”

Liam opens his mouth to say no, he absolutely cannot go somewhere else, and by the way he is not sulking, when Zayn finally shuffles into the kitchen.

“Coffee,” he mumbles, and Niall slides a steaming mug into his hands.

“You never give me any coffee,” Liam says accusingly.

Niall shrugs. “You never ask.”

Liam thinks maybe it’s more than that, but now is not the time to get sidetracked. He sticks a finger in Zayn’s face. “You told Harry that I’d take him and Louis on a sunset trail ride.”

“I did,” Zayn confirms, completely remorseless. “It’s a brilliant plan, yeah?”

“Brilliant? Are you joking? I’m going to be subjected to an entire night of them being all… all… coupley!” 

“Liam. They have been fighting literally the whole time they’ve been here. Do you honestly think watching a romantic sunset is going to save that relationship?”

And like. Zayn’s usually pretty cynical about love, but it seems cruel even for him to set someone up for failure like that.

“Just listen, okay? When they inevitably start fighting, you can swoop in and watch the sunset with Louis! Comfort him in his time of need, blah blah blah, then have dirty outdoor mountain sex.”

Dirty outdoor mountain sex. Honestly.

“And what about Harry? Are we just supposed to ignore him during all this dirty sex?”

“Ah,” Zayn says. “It’s possible I did not think this through.”

Niall starts cackling and Liam groans, hiding his face in his hands. “That is a terrible plan. I’m not a home wrecker. I hate you all.”

 

*

 

Harry shows up at the barn the next day, towing a reluctant Louis behind him. Liam’s already got two horses saddled for their riding lesson and is trying to shake off the feeling of dread at this whole situation. It’s pretty standard, really, giving beginner lessons. Liam could do it in his sleep.

He’s never given a lesson while trying to hide an erection, though.

“Are you guys sure you want to do this?” Liam asks.

“Absolutely!” Harry chirps at the same time Louis says, “Not really.”

Harry turns towards Louis, his lips pursed into a pout. “Lou, we talked about this. You agreed to try and you promised you wouldn’t complain.”

“I’m not complaining, am I?” He hesitantly eyes the horse Liam has ready to go. “Just expressing some doubt about my ability to ride that thing. It’s like fifty feet tall.”

Liam pats the horse’s neck. “Don’t feel intimidated. Iron Man here is one of the gentlest horses on the ranch. He’ll take good care of you.”

Louis’ eyes widen. “You named that beast Iron Man?”

Liam frowns. Niall had said the same thing when Liam had originally decided upon the name.

“What’s wrong with it?”

Louis shakes his head. “Think the Hulk would have been a better choice.”

“If you’re that scared, you can just ride behind me and hang on tight. Promise I won’t let you fall.” It slips out before he can stop it. For fuck’s sake, he can’t flirt with Louis while Harry is standing right there.

Louis lets his eyes slowly rake over Liam’s body, taking in his dirty jeans and faded flannel shirt. “Thanks, cowboy,” he drawls, “but I think I’ll be okay riding solo.”

Harry laughs, apparently oblivious to the sexual tension that feels like its choking Liam. “See? This is going to be so much fun. You’ll see, Lou.”

 

*

 

Harry’s right, in a sense. The riding lesson is fun, in the same way that digging out a splinter that’s buried deeply in your skin is fun.

So maybe Harry’s wrong, then.

Liam is unsurprised to see that Louis is a very quick study. It was clear he was an athlete from their earlier (not a date not a date not a date a voice in Liam’s head chants) time at the gym, and he picks up horseback riding with remarkable ease.

Harry, on the other hand, is… awful. Not that Liam would say it out loud or anything, but seriously, he’s taught five year olds with better control of their limbs.

The kid can barely keep his feet in the stirrups and acts surprised that every time he accidently kicks Cher in the ribs, she breaks into a trot. He then bounces in the saddle like a sack of potatoes, jerking on the reins and leading the poor horse in circles until Liam rushes over and stops her.

Louis watches the whole thing from his perch atop Iron Man, laughing gleefully. Harry’s a good sport about it at least, able to laugh at himself, and keeps shooting Louis these dopey smiles.

The mood shifts when Liam starts physically arranging Harry’s feet in the stirrups, reminding him for the fourth time to keep his heels down and back straight. He’s in the middle of a sentence, Harry nodding along, a focused if hopeless student, when Louis lets out a yelp.

Liam looks up to see Iron Man cantering around the corral and Louis holding on desperately.

“Pull on the reins! Pull the – no. Don’t keep kicking him, you need to pull the reins!” Louis is not listening to a word Liam’s saying and looks close to falling off.

Liam whistles sharply and pulls an apple out of his pocket. Iron Man trots straight over, knowing that whistle means food. Liam grabs hold of the reins as soon as the horse comes close enough, letting him crunch the apple in two big bites.

“What the hell was that?” Liam demands.

“What?” Louis says defensively, his breathing a bit labored. “I don’t know; the horse just started running. I couldn’t stop it.”

“Don’t bullshit me. I saw you kicking him. I put you on Iron Man for a reason, Louis. It’s not easy to make him go much faster than a walk.”

“Well maybe if you were a more attentive teacher I wouldn’t have made such a beginner’s mistake,” Louis retorts, tone scathing.

“That’s not fair, Lou,” Harry breaks in. “Liam is plenty attentive.”

“To you, maybe,” Louis huffs under breath and suddenly it clicks.

“You’re jealous.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. How do you get off this thing? I’m done here.” Louis doesn’t wait for a reply, just swings down awkwardly off Iron Man’s back. He misjudges how far down the ground he is and nearly falls on his arse before catching himself and stalking off towards the gate.

Harry is still sitting on Cher, looking miserably after Louis. “Don’t move. Don’t even blink,” Liam instructs him and races after Louis.

He catches him at the gate and grabs his arm so Louis can’t get away. “Louis. Don’t walk away like this. Seriously, what’s up with you?”

Louis doesn’t look back at Liam, but seems to deflate at his pleading tone, the tense line of his shoulder dropping in defeat. “Like you said. I get jealous sometimes,” his reply is so quiet that Liam has to strain to hear it.

Liam grips his arm tighter. “And who, exactly, were you jealous of?”

Louis snorts. “You really want me to answer that?”

“You’re the one with the boyfriend here, Louis.” He hopes Louis can’t hear the desperation in his voice.

Louis roughly tugs his arm free from Liam’s hold. “Like I could fucking forget.”

This time, Liam lets him go.

 

*

 

Liam is on the treadmill, lungs burning and Empire State of Mind blaring in his headphones, when he catches movement out of the corner of his eye. Without breaking stride, he pauses the music and flicks the buds out of his ears. Louis is standing there, sheepish look on his face.

“What’s up?” Liam pants.

“I wasn’t sure… I mean, it’s okay that I’m here, right?”

Liam shrugs, feet still pounding the treadmill. “Gym’s open to everyone.”

Louis huffs out a breath and Liam can see the frustrated way he runs his hand through his tousled hair out of his periphery vision. Good, Liam thinks selfishly. 

“Look, Liam,” Louis finally says. “Can you… can you stop for a minute?”

Liam stabs the stop button a little harsher than necessary and the treadmill slows to a crawl before stopping completely. He turns to Louis, his harsh breathing sounding loud in the suddenly quiet gym.

“I came to apologize. I acted like a complete twat earlier and that wasn’t… it wasn’t fair to either one of you. I know I have no right to be jealous of you when I’m here with Harry, but Harry and I are… it’s complicated.” Louis scrubs a hand over his face. “This is such a shit apology. Look, Liam, I’m sorry for dragging you into my mess of a relationship. If I haven’t ruined things completely, I would really, really like if we could be friends.”

Louis looks so small and vulnerable, standing there waiting for Liam’s response. Like Liam stood a chance of denying him the moment he set foot in the gym. “Yeah,” Liam agrees, the corner of his mouth twitching. “I think we could be friends.”

He’s rewarded with a positively radiant smile. “So, cardio tonight then?” Louis asks.

Liam gestures to the open machine next to him. “If you think you can keep up.”

“Please, Liam.”

With a grin, Liam reaches over and pushes the button for the hardest setting. Louis lets out an adorable squeak and starts pumping his legs, scrambling to keep up until he can figure out how to lower the setting. He figures it out after a minute and they fall into an easy silence, running side by side.

“What were you listening to, anyway?” Louis asks eventually, breathing a little heavily.

“Oh, um, Jay-Z?”

Louis laughs in delight and Liam feels his heart skip a beat. “Really? Jay-Z? I thought you cowboy types were required to listen to country music.”

Liam wrinkles his nose. “Nah, not really a fan.”

“What, don’t like songs about marrying your tractor?”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Make me.”

Liam reaches over, finger hovering over the button to increase the speed, and Louis yelps. “You win! I take it back!”

Shooting him a cocky grins, Liam says, “Not so hard to admit to defeat, now is it?”

“I can admit when I’ve been beaten by a better man,” Louis pants, smiling fondly back at him.

Liam ducks his head, hoping his already flushed cheeks will cover up the blush.

After a minute, Louis clears his throat. “Uh, Liam?”

“Yeah?” Liam asks, trying and failing to keep his smile from taking over his face.

“Harry wanted me to ask… you can still take us on the ride tomorrow, yeah?”

It’s not easy, but Liam keeps the smile firmly in place. His face feels kind of like it might crack in two, but Liam will be damned if he lets Louis see the effect of his words. It's a wasted effort, because Louis seems to be studying a particularly interesting spot on his arm.

“Of course,” Liam agrees, the cheerful note in his voice only ringing a bit false.

Louis shoots him an unreadable look. “Thanks,” he says finally.

“It’s no problem,” Liam lies.

 

*

 

Liam wakes up the day of the sunset trail ride with apprehension churning in his gut. It’s darker than normal and it doesn’t take more than a glance out the window to see why: dark clouds are hovering above the horizon, blocking all but a few of the sun’s rays.

It’s a sign, Liam knows, that they shouldn’t go on this trip. It will be tough enough handling Harry and Louis and the horses overnight without anyone getting lost or hurt. Add bad weather to the mix, and it’s a recipe for disaster.

The clouds clear out by midday, though, and Zayn and Niall dismiss Liam’s concerns.

“Seriously, mate, you’re going to be five miles from the ranch on one of the easiest trails. If something happens, you can radio in for help and someone can be there in twenty minutes by jeep. Stop worrying.”

“He’s right,” Niall adds. “Besides, you’re like a fucking boy scout. Nothing will go wrong.”

Famous last words, Liam thinks, but retreats to the barn after dinner to pack their supplies. Harry and Louis both show up shortly after, dressed in warm clothes as Liam had instructed, backpacks slung over their shoulders.

Liam glances up at the late afternoon sky and notes that a few of the dark clouds have made a reappearance low on the horizon. Zayn had checked the forecast for him earlier, though, and the chance of rain is pretty low. Liam squares his shoulders. Enough second guessing. This is happening.

The ride starts out on a good note and Harry manages to stay seated firmly in the saddle. Liam leads them at a slow pace along the well-marked trail, letting the boys admire the incredible views around the ranch. It’s too difficult to talk, riding single file, and Liam relishes the quiet, lets the calming sounds of nature wash over their little group.

The first sign of trouble appears when they’re still a mile from the lookout point. Liam’s kept a steady eye on the sky and it’s not looking good. He pulls up, signaling Harry and Louis to halt their horses, too. “I’m sorry, guys, but we have to stop here.”

Harry looks around. “Zayn promised a better view than this. You can’t even see the sun.”

“Honestly, Harry,” Louis rolls his eyes. “Think that’s why we’re stopping, yeah? Or did you not notice the dark fucking clouds over there?”

“Louis,” Harry warns. “I see the clouds. I’m not an idiot.” He shifts in his saddle back towards Liam. “Do we really have to stop here? It’s not that much farther to the lookout point, is it?”

“Louis’ right,” Liam says apologetically. “Even if we kept going, I think the clouds are too dark to see much of the sunset. We need to take advantage of what little light is left to set up camp.” With the practiced ease of years spent on horseback, Liam swings easily out the saddle.

Harry has more limbs than grace and manages to fall straight on his arse. Louis dismounts with a bit more dignity, yesterday’s lesson apparently taking hold. Liam walks them through unsaddling their horses and after leading them to a stream that runs along the trail for a drink, finds a cluster of trees to secure them to for the night.

Once the horses are settled, Liam suggests that Harry and Louis walk a bit farther down the trail to catch what they can of the sinking sun through the dark clouds. He doubts they’ll be able to see much, but Harry has been acting mopey since Liam made them stop and he needs some space to remind himself of all the reasons he can’t undress Louis and fuck him against a tree.

He shuts that line of thought down quickly and finds a good spot not far from the trail to set up camp.

Liam has both tents pitched about twenty feet from each other and is building a campfire between them when Harry and Louis wander back. Both boys are frowning and Liam can feel the tension rolling off them in waves. They spot Liam hunched over the fire pit, attempting to light the kindling, and come plop down by the fire.

No one says a word as Liam gets the kindling to catch and slowly builds up the fire until its crackling cheerily, bright flames licking up into the quickly darkening sky.

Harry procures a pack of marshmallows from his bag and Liam helps them find long branches and whittle the ends to a point with his pocketknife so they can roast them over the fire.

Louis laughs obnoxiously when Liam’s marshmallow catches fire and falls into the flames and it breaks the awkward tension. They start telling ghost stories because Harry insists he wants an authentic camping experience. It quickly digresses to dirty jokes, of which Louis is a particular fan, and Liam can’t remember the last time he laughed so hard.

It’s nice, being friends with Harry and Louis, and Liam has almost managed to convince himself it’s enough for him. They fall into a comfortable silence after a while, listening to the snap of the fire and crickets chirping.

Glancing up at the dark night sky, Liam notes that he can only see a small smattering of stars. It’s still cloudy, then, but at least the rain is holding off. He tells Harry and Louis good night before going to check on the horses one last time. They’re shifting nervously, shuffling and snorting. Liam spends time with each horse individually, rubbing their necks soothingly and talking nonsense in a calm voice until they settle.

Back at camp, he retreats into his tent, stretching out on the uncomfortable sleeping bag and staring up at the canvas ceiling. He can hear the wind whistling through the trees and the distant howl of a coyote. He hopes that Harry and Louis won’t fuck in their tent. No doubt he’ll be able to hear every groan.

They don’t fuck. Instead, they argue. Liam shoves his head underneath his pillow, but he can still hear every word as their angry murmurs get louder and louder.

“What more do you want me to do? I’m trying so hard, but you act like you don’t even care.” Harry’s deep voice, sounding more morbid than usual.

“Of course I fucking care. I just don’t get what you’re playing at. You think watching the sunset together is just going to what, magically fix things?”

“You said we never spend time together anymore. How exactly is a romantic trip, just the two of us, not helping? Explain it to me.”

“Because a week is nothing! In three days, we’re going to go back to our lives and nothing will have changed. You’ll still leave me, going god knows where to promote your new album. I’m sick of it, Haz. I’m fucking sick of the travel, the late night skype calls because you’re not even in the same time zone as me, wanking on camera because my boyfriend isn’t around to fuck me.”

Liam really, really wishes he couldn’t hear this. He coughs, loudly, but it’s drowned out by Harry’s fuming voice.

“Oh, yeah, and it’s all my fault, isn’t it? I’ve told you, you’re always welcome to come on tour with me--”

“Oh, fuck that. What am I, your little groupie? I have my own job, my own life, I can’t just pack up and go every time you leave.”

“Yeah, you do have your own life, don’t you, Lou? Every time I am home, you’re so wrapped up in your own shit that it’s like you don’t have time for me.”

“That’s fucking rich. You spend half the year touring, and I’m the one that doesn’t have time for you? Unbelievable.”

“It’s not just that,” Harry presses. “When I’m around, you act like you don’t even care. You flirt with anything that so much as looks at you. For fuck’s sake, I see the way you look at Liam. I wouldn’t be surprised if you two were fucking behind my back.”

Harry’s words are followed by an excruciatingly loud silence. Liam didn’t think silences could be loud, but this is absolutely deafening.

“Fuck you, Styles.”

Liam can hear the sound of a zipper being jerked open, followed by the heavy footsteps of someone stomping away. The footsteps fade in the distance and whoever’s still in the tent is breathing heavily, sounding like they’re trying to choke back sobs.

Damn it, he’s not a babysitter. It is not his job to go chasing after lovesick idiots.

He stays in his tent, fists clenched, and waits for the footsteps to come back. He’s still not completely sure who left, though his money’s on Louis, and surely Louis can’t be stupid enough to go wandering alone into the wilderness at night? The heavy breathing in the next tent gradually fades and now there are no sounds to disguise the fact that whoever wandered off hasn’t come stomping back.

Holding his breath, Liam hears the rustling of canvas as the second body climbs out of the tent. Oh, god, surely both of them can’t be dumb enough to amble off?

“Louis,” Harry’s voice calls cautiously. “Louis, I’m sorry. Come back.”

It was Louis who left, then. Harry’s shuffling feet start moving away from camp and that’s the last thing Liam needs. He scrambles out of his tent, calling out to Harry to hold up, when a flash of lightning rips across the sky. It illuminates Harry’s face for a moment, his features twisted in worry. It’s followed after a few seconds by a booming crack of thunder and then the sky opens up in a downpour, soaking Harry and Liam in seconds.

“Fuck!” Liam swears. Harry is lumbering towards him, babbling incoherently. “Liam, oh my god, Liam, Louis is out there, please Liam.”

Liam grabs Harry’s shoulders. “Did you see which way he went?”

Harry shakes his head miserably.

“Listen to me, Harry. Get back in the tent, okay? Dry off, warm up. Do not, for any reason, leave this camp. I’m going to go find Louis, okay?”

Harry just stands there, so Liam shakes him. “Do you understand, Harry?”

“Yes,” he mumbles. “Stay in the tent, don’t do anything.” He wipes a hand across his face. “Please, Liam. Please find him.”

Liam doesn’t answer, just retreats to his tent to dig out a flashlight and the walkie talkie. When he reemerges, Harry is still standing there, shivering. “Get in the tent, Harry. I’ll be back before you know it, okay?”

 

*

 

Louis can’t have gone that far in such a short period of time. Liam is sure he probably walked just out earshot of the camp to give himself a moment.

He probably didn’t anticipate that the rain would douse the remaining embers in the fire and the storm would make the trail almost impossible to follow. Liam has no idea where he could have wandered off to, but no one is going to get hurt, or god forbid, killed while he’s on watch.

Zipping his jacket up to his chin, Liam grits his teeth against the pounding rain and sweeps the flashlight back and forth over the trail. His pace is excruciatingly slow, but he can’t risk going any faster in these conditions. He calls Louis’ name every few feet, gives him time to respond, but there’s nothing.

Liam keeps his ears pricked, but all he can hear is the rain beating down and the occasional crack of thunder sounding off like a cannon in the dark.

Worry is eating away at his gut the farther he travels from camp. He doesn’t think Louis could have made it this far in the dark. What if he wandered off the trail? Liam won’t have a prayer of finding him during the storm, and he knows that the longer Louis is out in the elements, the greater chance he’ll be hurt. There's also the hazard of the nearby stream, the easy going current probably swollen into something fierce by the downpour. If Louis took a wrong turn, somehow fell in…Liam physically shakes himself. This is going to be a rescue, damn it, not a recovery.

He’s about to turn around, circle back and retrace his footsteps, hoping that maybe he’ll find Louis on the way back, when he hears a noise. A voice.

Liam stops, concentrating, and the voice calls again. It’s soft, but it sounds like his name. Turning towards the sound, Liam carefully sweeps his flashlight across the landscape. He moves forward slowly, and the voice gets a bit louder. He’s going in the right direction, then.

Finally, the beam of his light catches a flash of red fabric. Liam hurries forward, flashlight trained on his target, and the rest of Louis comes into view, shivering in his soaked sweatshirt.

“Liam,” he gasps out and lurches forward into Liam’s arms. Liam hugs him tight and he can feel the way Louis’ heart is hammering against his ribcage. Or maybe it’s Liam’s heart. It’s hard to tell with how close they’re pressed together.

“C’mon,” Liam coaxes. “Let’s get you back to camp and dried off, okay?”

Louis nods, head still buried in Liam’s chest. He doesn’t let go of Liam during the trek back to camp. Liam grips him back just as tightly, his relief at finding Louis making him feel a little dizzy.

When they finally make it back to camp, Harry is standing just outside his tent, soaked clothes plastered to his skin. He cries out when he spots them and rushes forward to hug Louis. Liam immediately lets go, not wanting to interfere with their sure to be heartfelt reunion, but Louis just clings to him harder.

Harry pulls up short, confusion and hurt warring on his expressive face. “Louis?” He questions.

“I don’t want to talk to you,” Louis says. “I don’t even want to look at you right now.”

“You can’t… we’ve only got the two tents. Please, Lou. I’m sorry, okay? I’m so, so sorry. I was just mad, I didn’t mean it.”

“Forget it. I said I don’t want to talk about it. I’ll sleep in Liam’s tent.”

“Um,” Liam says when both boys turn to look at him.

“Please Liam? Your tent is as big as mine and Harry’s.” Which is to say, not big at all. Liam swallows uncomfortably.

“It’s fine,” Harry says unhappily, sniffling and wiping at his nose with his sleeve. “You can sleep where you want. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Liam is wet, cold, and absolutely exhausted. He does not have the patience required to deal with two stupid, heartbroken boys at once. He decides it’s best to divide and conquer.

“Louis, go in my tent. Dry yourself off, get some warm clothes on. Harry, come on, let’s get you to your tent.”

“Liam--” Louis starts, but Liam cuts him off. “No. No arguing.” He has had enough of stupid boys and their stupid drama. Louis shuts his mouth and trudges off to Liam’s tent. Liam puts his arm around Harry, who’s still sniffling.

“I’m not crying,” he says.

“Course you’re not,” Liam agrees, keeping his voice soft and soothing. “You wouldn’t be sniffling if you’d stayed in the tent and dried off like I told you to.”

“I was worried about Louis,” he says in a small voice, letting Liam guide him into his tent.

“Yeah,” Liam says, squatting awkwardly just outside of the tent as Harry contorts his lanky body to crawl inside. “It’s gonna be okay. You guys will make up tomorrow, I’m sure of it.”

Harry lets out a hiccupping breath. “No, I really don’t think we will,” he says softly. “I think this was a long time overdue.” He grabs Liam’s arm suddenly. “I really didn’t mean it, Liam. I know you guys aren’t… whatever. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“Yeah,” Liam says again. This is all above his pay grade. He stays just long enough to make Harry’s got his wet things off and is bundled up warmly before he returns to Louis.

He pokes his head into the tent and has to bite back a groan. Louis has his shirt off, but is struggling with the fastening on his soaked jeans. It doesn’t help that his hands are shaking. Liam can see from the light of the flashlight that his exposed skin is covered in goosebumps.

“Fuck,” he mutters, crawling into the tent. “Let me,” he murmurs, batting Louis’ hands away. Louis complies, laying back and giving Liam enough access to work open the button and ease down the zip. He’s able to wriggle out of the wet denim with Liam’s help, tugging on the ends of the legs, but it takes a few tries.

Finally, Louis is lying on the floor of the tent in just his pants, breathing a little harshly and looking up at Liam with his big blue eyes.

Knowing he shouldn’t, but not caring enough to stop himself, Liam lets his eyes rake over Louis’ body. He’s incredibly fit. It isn’t fair, Liam thinks desperately, that he gets to look but not touch.

“Liam,” Louis breathes, and Liam snaps himself out of it. He reaches into his bag, thrusting a shirt and sweatpants at Louis.

“Here,” he says sternly, turning away from Louis. “Put these on. It’s just going to get colder.”

Liam strips off his own soaking clothes with mechanical efficiency, still facing away from Louis. He throws their wet things out the tent, can’t be bothered to deal with it right now. He’s about to slink into his sleeping bag when he realizes that Louis’ is still in the other tent with Harry.

Louis meets his eyes, and Liam knows he’s come to the same realization. “I’ll be fine,” Louis lies. The exertion of changing clothes has warmed him up a bit, but Liam can see the telltale quiver to his chin that signals his teeth are moments away from chattering.

“Don’t be ridiculous. We’ll share. It’s fine.”

Louis needs no further encouragement and he quickly scoots over next to Liam, cuddling in close so the blanket can cover both of them. Liam doesn’t know what to do with his arm and ends up wrapping it around Louis, who’s settled his head on Liam’s chest.

“Thank you, Liam,” he whispers, and Liam knows he means for more than just sharing his sleeping bag.

Louis’s breath evens out as he quickly falls asleep. Despite his exhaustion, Liam lays awake for a long time, staring up at the canvas ceiling and wishing he could see the stars.

 

*

 

Liam blinks open his eyes to the soft light of early dawn. He feels safe and content in that blissful moment between being asleep and awake before he realizes there’s a warm body cuddled up next to him. He panics a moment before last night’s memories come flashing back.

That would be Louis, then, that Liam’s got his arm wrapped tightly around. Louis who he’s spooned up behind, warm back pressed to Liam’s chest. Louis’ rounded arse, grinding back against his dick, and whoa, wait, what.

Liam scoots back quickly and Louis just snuggles into the pillow underneath his head, still sleeping soundly. Fuck.

It’s too early to deal with this, so Liam makes a hasty exit from the tent and goes to check on the horses. They seem to have weathered the storm better than their human companions. Liam maybe spends more time than necessary getting them brushed and saddled, putting off waking up Harry and Louis to head back to the ranch as long as possible.

It’s easier to fix broken horses than broken hearts, he thinks.

 

*

 

The ride back is excruciatingly awkward. Harry and Louis still aren’t speaking and when they make it to the ranch, tired and miserable, Louis marches straight off to the main building. Harry follows behind a little more slowly, looking a bit lost.

Liam pushes the whole thing from his mind, focusing on getting the horses unsaddled and settled. He throws himself into the work, punishing his body until his mind shuts off.

After he’s wasted as much time as possible in the barn, sweeping the main aisle no less than five times, Liam finally gives in to his growling stomach and trudges to the main building. He sneaks in the back employee’s only entrance, making sure that he doesn’t cross paths with Harry or Louis.

Niall and Zayn corner him the moment he steps foot in the kitchen.

“What the fuck happened?”

“What makes you think anything happened?” Liam hedges, eyeing the pans Niall’s got cooking on the stove. Whatever it is, it smells incredible, and Liam’s stomach growls loudly.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Zayn says derisively. “Maybe the way Louis came storming into reception this morning, wearing your shirt, and demanded that I arrange a cab for him to get to the train station today?”

“Oh,” Liam says. “Well. Louis and Harry may have. Broken up?”

Niall whistles. “Shit. Payno really is a home wrecker.”

“I’m not – I didn’t – oh my god. I didn’t break them up!”

Zayn crosses his arms. “Why exactly was he wearing your shirt?”

“How do you know it was mine?” Liam asks defensively.

Rolling his eyes, Zayn says, “The way it was hanging off him was clue number one, but the Syco Ranch logo blew the case wide open. Not exactly subtle, Liam.”

Liam pinches the bridge of his nose. He knew he should’ve asked Louis for the shirt back. Zayn has annoying attention to detail; no way would this have escaped his notice. It was just awkward, though, to demand Louis give him the shirt when he was already so wretched looking.

It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that seeing Louis wear his clothes made his breath catch.

Niall and Zayn are still staring at him, twin looks of accusation on their faces, and Liam sighs. He won’t get lunch unless he spills and honestly, he needs his friends more than he needs to keep secrets.

“Fine. We missed the stupid sunset because it was too cloudy, and then they got into a huge fight and Louis stormed off in the rain and I had to go look for him and I honestly thought, I thought… but it doesn’t matter, I did find him, and we made it back to camp but he still wouldn’t speak to Harry so he ended up sleeping in my tent and fuck he’s so funny and attractive and I barely even know him, god, god why do I like him so much?”

“Fuck, Liam.” Zayn says after a beat.  

Niall’s already dishing up a plate. “That’s shit, mate.”

“I don’t know what to do,” Liam says dejectedly.

“Eat.” Niall recommends, placing the plate in front of Liam. “Might not solve your problems, but it won’t hurt anything.”

“The soonest I could get a cab for him was later this afternoon,” Zayn offers after Liam’s polished off lunch. “You’ve still got time to talk to him.”

Liam sits back. “About what? He’s leaving, Zayn. Going back to his real life. Anything we could have had would only be temporary, anyway.”

“Maybe you guys could--”

“Leave it, okay?”

Zayn sighs in resignation. “Okay.”

 

*

 

Since the chores are done, Liam hides out in his cabin the rest of the day. The exhaustion finally catches up to him, and he drifts into a troubled sleep until dinner time. He wakes up feeling disoriented and knows he can’t face Zayn and Niall’s sympathetic looks.

He considers going to the gym, working out his frustration, but that’s been tainted by Louis now. Glancing at his clock, he figures the barn will be mostly disserted this late in the day. He takes the back way, avoiding as many people as possible, and winds up in Iron Man’s stall.

Zayn finds him there a few hours later, sitting on an overturned bucket and feeding the horse stray bits of hay. He leans over the stall door, looking down at Liam and his sad little bucket.

“He’s gone.”

“All right.”

“Harry left too.”

“Good for them. Hope they’re happy together.”

“Liam. They weren’t talking, wouldn’t even look at each other.”

“Awesome. Hope they’re happy apart, then.”

“What is with you?”

“What do you want me to say, Zayn? Louis is gone. What does it fucking matter?”

Zayn groans in frustration. “Look at yourself, Liam. I have never seen you this hung up on anyone, and you’ve known Louis for barely a week. Maybe you need to think outside the box here, because people just don’t have this kind of connection, right from the start.”

“Yeah. It’s like Romeo and Juliet, minus, you know, the bit where we off ourselves.”

“Maybe leave the literary analysis to someone who’s actually read Shakespeare and quit being so melodramatic. If you like him so much, then get off your ass and do something about it!”

Liam snorts. “Like you’re one to talk. Honestly.”

Zayn gets very, very still. “What, exactly, is that supposed to mean?”

Liam levels him a look.

“Fine,” Zayn hisses. “I’ll back off. But if you don’t cheer the fuck up, Liam, I’m going to murder you.” It’s the weirdest threat Liam’s ever received, but oddly comforting.

“Who’s melodramatic now?” Liam asks, but Zayn is already walking towards the door.

Liam files away the invaluable information that Niall’s one-sided crush may not be so one-sided, after all.

 

*

 

It’s not easy, exactly, but Liam eventually does get over Louis. Well, not “over” so much as “learns to live with the constant ache of wanting something he can’t have.”

He’s cut back from wanking over fantasies of Louis six days a week to five, though, and he thinks that should count as progress. At this rate, he’ll be barely forty before the thought of laughing blue eyes and a stupid pixie face aren’t featured in every orgasm he has.

Niall’s taken to playing Taylor Swift songs whenever he walks into a room. Liam would be more upset, but he’s secretly impressed with Niall’s ability to have a song queued up whenever Liam’s in the vicinity.

He suspects that Zayn is probably behind the whole thing – Niall’s a great lad, but his ability to plan anything beyond a meal is honestly pathetic.

Today’s song choice is something about a love story and a white dress. Both Zayn and Niall look up when Liam walks into the kitchen, expectant looks on their faces as if Liam’s reaction will still be hilarious after weeks of the same prank.

“Think you need to update your iTunes, mate,” Liam says. “Getting a bit bored of Swifty, if I’m being honest.”

“He’s caught onto us,” Niall stage whispers to Zayn. “We may have to abort Operation: Taylor.”

Zayn giggles, honest to goodness giggles, and whispers back, “I think the operation was a success, though. Look at his face. He’s so annoyed, he’s got no room left for sad.”

Liam’s friends are the worst. “Are you telling me you subjected me to weeks of Taylor Swift because you were trying to annoy my sadness away?”

“You refuse to talk about your feelings, Liam. We had to let Taylor express them for you.”

“Yeah, it’s, what’s the word, Zayn? Cah-something.”

“Cathartic.”

Niall nods. “Cathartic,” he echoes.

Liam just shakes his head. “You guys are the worst.”

“You love us, though.”

“Yeah,” Liam smiles. He really does.

 

*

 

Things more or less return to normal after that, if there’s ever a normal at Syco Ranch. There's less Taylor Swift, at any rate. Liam’s clearly been lulled into a false sense of security, though, because loud knocking on his door startles him awake early one morning.

He stumbles to the door, half asleep, and opens it to see Niall’s worried face.

“Can I talk to you?”

Still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Liam yawns and says, “Right now?”

“No, Liam. I woke you up at fuck-o-clock in the morning to ask to talk to you later. Yes, right now!”

Liam’s eyes snap open at that. Niall’s not usually so tetchy. “Jesus, yeah, come in, then.”

“Sorry,” Niall apologizes quickly, walking in the room and flopping down on Liam’s rumpled bed. “It’s just… have you noticed anything, like, unusual about Zayn lately?”

“Um,” Liam says, racking his brain. “No?”

Niall groans. “He hasn’t seemed a little off to you lately? Like, distant almost?”

Liam hadn’t noticed, but he also isn’t the one in this room who’s half in love with Zayn. “Niall,” he starts carefully. “Do you remember how you and Zayn kept playing Taylor Swift songs because I wouldn’t discuss my feelings with you?”

Niall gives him a look. “That was like two weeks ago Liam. Yes, I fucking remember.”

“Right. Well, have you and Zayn, you know, tried discussing your feelings?”

His question is met with a blank stare. “Our feelings.”

“For each other,” Liam clarifies.

There’s a flash of something in Niall’s eyes this time, but he flings his arm over to hide his face. “Dunno what you’re on about,” he mumbles into his elbow.

Liam rolls his eyes. “You two are hopeless. Seriously, you need to talk to him. I guarantee he feels the same way.”

Niall lowers his arm enough to peek one eye out. “You think so?”

“Yes,” Liam says emphatically. “Honestly, I don’t know why you two kept playing love songs at me when you should have been playing them at each other.”

“Huh,” Niall says thoughtfully. “That’s… that’s an interesting thought.” He hops off the bed. “Thanks, Liam. You’re a good friend, you know?”

“Sure,” Liam says distractedly, already stretching out again now that Niall’s cleared out. He can go back to sleep for twenty more minutes and he doesn’t plan to miss one.

Niall’s already out the door, but sticks his head back in. “Oh, Liam?” he asks.

“Mmpf.”

“Just… remember your advice today, okay? The thing about sharing your feelings because it’s mutual.”

“What are you talking about?” Liam asks in confusion, but the only answer he gets is the gentle click of the door shutting.

 

*

 

Liam’s sleep is interrupted for the second time today by someone pounding on his door. He can’t even be righteously angry about it, because strictly speaking he’s not supposed to take mid-afternoon naps, but he was up late the night before with a colicky horse and like, he deserves the rest.

Stretching his arms above his head until his joints crack, Liam pads over to the door in his bare feet. When he pulls it open, his jaw about hits the floor. Louis is standing there, looking more attractive than Liam even remembered.

Because this Louis isn’t a memory. This Louis is real.

“I… what…?”

Louis grins impishly at him. “Hey Liam. It’s been awhile.”

“What are you doing here?”

“’Hello, how are you?’ would have been nice, but okay. I got a promotional offer in the mail from Syco Ranch that was just too good to turn down.”

“A promotional offer?”

“A free weekend stay, all expenses paid.” He raises an eyebrow. “Seems I’m a platinum member here. Who knew?”

Liam may spend most of his time in the barn, but he knows there’s no such thing as a platinum membership. Simon would never offer a free weekend, even as a promo.

This plot stinks of Zayn.

He doesn’t have much time to process the situation before Louis is stepping over the threshold, pushing Liam back through the door and shutting it behind him. He wraps one his hands around the back of Liam’s neck, tugging him down, and then Louis’ lips are pressed against his own.

Louis wastes no time, biting at Liam’s lower lip and sucking it between his own. Liam lets out a small groan at the sensation, and Louis takes advantage to deepen the kiss, slipping his tongue into Liam’s mouth.

After a minute, Liam pulls back, feeling a little dizzy. “No, no, we need to talk first.”

“Liam. I have waited for months to get you naked. We can talk later.”

Liam presses his forehead against Louis’. “You at least need to tell me what’s up with you and Harry. Please, Louis. You owe me that.”

Louis sighs. “Yeah, all right, that’s fair. We’re not together anymore, obviously. Haven’t been since that night.”

“Oh,” Liam says in a small voice.

“It’s not – look, it’s had nothing to do with you, okay Liam? We were just… we’d drifted apart, I think, and we were more in love with the memories than the reality, you know? We were clinging to something that didn’t really exist anymore and it just made both of us resentful.” He smiles wryly. “We should have broken up a while ago, could have avoided a lot of drama. We’re better as friends.”

“You guys are friends, then?”

“Yeah. Harry’s too much a part of my life to cut him out completely, but,” he pauses to run his tongue over his teeth in the least subtle move Liam’s ever seen, “now we’re free to fuck other people.”

“I see,” says Liam. “So you came all the way out here just to tell me that?”

“Mmm. Was hoping I could show you, actually.”

“My cabin has a bed,” Liam offers. He’s absolutely giddy with the knowledge that Louis is here, right in front of him, and Liam gets to touch him. He starts tugging Louis towards the bed, but Louis resists, digging in his heels.

“I was actually thinking… could we… can we have sex in the barn?”

“The barn?”

“Liam, do you know how many cowboy fantasies I’ve wanked to the past month? Please. I need this to happen.”

“If we get caught, I could lose my job,” Liam argues. Matt and Aiden’s legacy has had a lasting impact on the ranch. Employees keep their personal business in their bunks. Or, if they’ve got a bit of an exhibitionist kink, the staff showers.

He hopes that whenever Niall and Zayn figure it out, they keep it to themselves. Oh, god, they had better not fuck in the kitchen. Liam shudders at the thought.

“Then we won’t get caught, will we?” Louis says impishly.

This is a terrible idea. They will definitely get caught and Liam will be humiliated and jobless. He’ll have to leave the ranch and move in with Matt and Aiden and join the ranks of the Shamed Employees Who Can’t Keep It in Their Pants Club.

Louis is looking up at him with these eyes, though, one hand still resting on the back of his neck, fingers playing with the hair at his nape. Liam sighs.

“Okay.”

 

*

 

Louis practically drags Liam to the barn after that, his hand gripping Liam’s tightly.

He pauses in the barn aisle to scope out an ideal spot and studies the ladder leading up to the hayloft. “You really can’t see much from down here,” he decides. Turning back to Liam, he shoots him a shit-eating grin. “I’ve always wanted to fuck a cowboy in a hayloft.”

“Always, or just since you met me?” Liam asks cheekily.

Louis waggles his eyebrows at Liam and then scurries up the ladder, pausing halfway to the top to glance back at Liam and shake his ass invitingly. “You comin’, Payne? Or am I going to have to entertain myself?”

Liam almost loses it right there, thinking of Louis touching himself. “I’m on my way,” he calls, and practically runs to the tack room to grab a clean blanket. It’s freshly washed, Liam knows, because he’s been particularly meticulous about chores the past, you know, month or so.

Slinging the blanket over his shoulder, he climbs up after Louis. When he reaches the top, he sees that Louis is perched on a hay bale, grinning at him. Liam grins back, still not quite believing this is really happening.

Laying down the blanket over the scratchy hay, Liam pats the makeshift bed and gestures for Louis to come over to him.

Louis crawls towards him in a move that’s more ridiculous than sexy, and when he reaches Liam, he stops, so close they’re sharing the same air. “You sure about this?” he whispers against his lips.

“Yes,” Liam groans, and then Louis is kissing him again, his mouth wet and hot against Liam’s. He sneaks his hands underneath Liam’s shirt, running clever fingers over smooth skin and the trail of hair dusting Liam’s stomach.

Liam’s breath hitches when one hand wanders a little higher, tweaking his nipple. Louis is tugging at the shirt then until the fabric catches under Liam’s arms. “Get this off,” he demands, and Liam pulls it over his head quickly before attacking Louis’ shirt.

Louis lets his gaze roam over Liam’s naked chest and Liam has to resist the urge to cross his arms over himself self-consciously. “Fuck,” Louis breathes. “You’re better than my fantasies.”

“Fantasies?” Liam gulps.

“Yeah. Want so much, Liam. Can I, fuck, Liam, can I please suck you off?” Louis’ hands are already working at his flies and Liam lifts his hips, helping Louis slide his jeans and pants down his legs. They get twisted around his ankles and Louis loses patience, pushing Liam’s chest until he falls back on the blanket and crawling up between his legs.

He pauses, his mouth inches from the head of Liam’s dick, and Liam can feel his hot breath ghosting over his skin. Fucking tease.

“Please, fuck, Louis, please,” Liam begs. Louis grins up at him, looking through his lashes, and Liam’s dick throbs at the sight.

“Louis,” he growls. Louis winks, actually winks at him, and then swallows him down with no warning. Liam’s hips buck up on reflex, but Louis’ hands are pinning him down, holding him back so Liam doesn’t choke him.

Liam’s gripping the blanket with one hand and moves the other to Louis’ hair, burying it in the soft strands and tugging when Louis does something particularly devastating with his tongue. Louis hums in approval, so Liam tugs harder. Louis actually moans at that, breathing harshly through his nose as he bobs his head faster.

“Fuck, Lou, stop, stop, I’m gonna come,” Liam pants.

Louis pulls off with a wet pop, lips red and shiny with spit. “That’s the point, Liam. Do try to keep up.” His voice is a little raspy and Liam’s having a hard time catching his breath. He shakes his head. “Wanna come inside you.” He drops his head back against the hay. “Fuck. I don’t have any lube.”

A moment later, he jumps as a small plastic bottle hits him square in the chest. He glances over at Louis, who’s shimmying out of his pants and trousers with impressive speed. “Lucky for you I come prepared,” Louis says, gesturing the bottle of lube. “How do you want me?”

Liam’s mouth feels dry. “On your back,” he says hoarsely.

Louis complies immediately, flopping back and wriggling a bit to get comfortable on the lumpy, blanket covered hay. Once he settles, he spreads his legs in invitation, raising an eyebrow at Liam.

Drizzling lube over his fingers, Liam edges forward until he’s kneeling between Louis’ legs. He presses a finger to Louis’ hole, testing the resistance, before pushing inside. He watches Louis’ face carefully as he works up a rhythm, cataloging his expressions as he quickens the pace. He adds a second finger, then a third, and Louis’ eyes flutter closed as he fucks himself on Liam’s hand.

“Please, Liam, ‘m ready, can you,” Louis gasps out.

“Yeah, yeah, just, fuck, I need--”

Louis presses a foil packet into his hand. “Always prepared,” he mumbles.

Liam quickly rips the packet open and rolls the condom down. He squirts more lube into his hand, rubbing it over his length, and then he’s aligning himself with Louis’ slick hole, one of Louis’ legs draped over his forearm and the other wrapped around his the back of his thigh. He pauses before pushing in.

“You sure?” he asks.

“If you don’t fuck me right this second, Liam Payne, I swear to god--”

He shoves his hips forward in one smooth thrust and Louis squeezes his eyes shut, mouth open and panting. Liam holds himself still above Louis while he adjusts, arms trembling with effort, until Louis nods. “Move. I need you to move now.”

It’s all the encouragement he needs. Liam sets a brutal pace and it doesn’t take long before Louis is gasping out his name. Liam’s got him bent nearly in half as he fucks into him, and he shifts so he can brace his weight on one hand and moves the other to cover Louis’ mouth.

“Shh,” he pants. “Can’t… let… anyone… hear…”

Louis groans into Liam’s palm, reaching down between them to wrap a hand around his own cock. Liam shifts his angle, hitting a spot that makes Louis whimper, and then Louis is coming, spilling all over his hand and stomach. He clenches around Liam and it takes Liam only a few more stuttering thrusts until he’s coming too, biting at a tendon in Louis’ neck to muffle his whine.

He collapses on top of Louis, panting into the damp skin of his neck. After a minute, Louis shoves at him. “You’re crushing me,” he complains.

Reluctantly, Liam rolls off him. He reaches down to dispose of the condom, tying off the end and tossing it in the general direction of their clothes before collapsing back down on the blanket. Louis snuggles up to him, settling his head on Liam’s shoulder.

They lay there, catching their breath, until Louis eventually breaks the silence. “Hey, Liam?”

“Yeah?” Liam asks, not bothering to open his eyes.

“It’d be funny, right, if say, the little blonde cook caught us naked in the hayloft?”

Liam’s eyes fly open. “Don’t even joke about that.”

Louis shifts so he’s completely on top of Liam, one of his legs slotted between Liam’s thighs. He kisses the tip of Liam’s nose, his cheekbones, working his way down to Liam’s mouth. 

“The thing is,” he says between kisses, “he may or may not,” another kiss, “have just seen us?”

“What?” Liam yelps, shooting up into a sitting position.

Louis lands in his lap, still sticky and naked. He lazily grinds his arse against Liam, who lets out a whimper at the friction on his oversensitive cock. Liam grabs his hips, holding him still, and Louis starts kissing his neck.

“Relax, Liam. He gave me a thumbs up, for fuck’s sake. Don’t think he’s gonna tattle on us.”

“He’ll tell Zayn.”

Louis pulls back from his assault on Liam’s neck and raises a brow.

“The same Zayn that sent me a poorly photoshopped coupon for a free weekend stay and directions to your room? Think your secret will be safe with him, mate.”

Blackmail, Liam thinks. The solution to all life’s problems. “You’re a genius,” he tells Louis.

“I really am,” Louis agrees. “And since our privacy has already been compromised, what do you say to round two?” He starts grinding on Liam again, and this time Liam’s dick stirs with interest. “Wanna ride you,” Louis murmurs into his ear.

“On one condition.”

“Name it.”

“No cowgirl jokes.” Louis laughs into his neck, muffling the sound.

“You got it, cowboy.”

 

*

 

Louis, it turns out, is rather insatiable when it comes to sex. Liam flat out refuses round three until they get food. Mostly because he’s hungry, but he also needs to do some damage control to make sure Niall doesn’t open his big mouth and tell everyone on the ranch. He’s got blackmail material against Zayn, but Niall could pretty much get away with murder and Simon would keep him on.

Liam leads Louis the back way and towards the employee entrance once they’re both dressed and somewhat presentable looking. It’s probably pretty obvious what they’ve been up to and they didn’t quite manage to pick off all the stray bits of hay that got caught in their clothes, but Liam’s honestly too happy to care.

When they reach the kitchen, Liam can hear music playing from behind the closed door.

“Is that Justin Bieber?” Louis asks.

Liam shrugs. “At least it’s not Taylor Swift.”

Louis shoots him a curious look, but Liam just pulls the kitchen door open.

It’s a decision he immediately regrets.

From his vantage point standing in the open door, Liam can see Zayn leaning back against the prep table, hands gripping the edge so tight his knuckles are white. His head is tipped back and he’s biting his lip, breathing ragged.

Niall is down on his knees in front of Zayn, blonde head bobbing as Bieber’s voice croons, “if I was your boyfriend, I’d never let you go…”

Louis loses it, cackling madly and burying his head into Liam’s shoulder to stifle the sound.

Zayn’s eyes fly open at the noise and he looks at them in horror. Niall either hasn’t heard or doesn’t care, because he keeps going, and if Zayn’s involuntary gasp is any indication, has a very talented mouth.

“Get. Out.” Zayn orders, looking absolutely murderous before his eyes slip shut again.

Liam would argue that if Zayn wanted to receive blow jobs in private, he should have picked somewhere less public than the kitchen, but he honestly doesn’t want to know what Zayn looks like when he comes, so he turns from the room and manhandles Louis out the way so he can shut out the sight.

“Oh my god,” Louis is still laughing. “Is everyone here a secret sex fiend? Is there any place on this whole ranch that hasn’t been desecrated?”

“Niall better bleach that whole kitchen. That’s a serious health code violation and, quite frankly, disgusting,” Liam sniffs.

“You do realize we just fucked in a barn.”

“People don’t eat in the barn.”

Louis glances back at the kitchen. “You know, we never did get any food.”

“You know, we could…” Liam starts, stops.

“We could what?” Louis prompts, smiling reassuringly.

“I mean, it’s a bit of a drive, but we could, only if you wanted, of course, but there’s this little diner, right, and the food is great, I mean it’s got nothing on Niall’s, but, like--”

Louis cuts him off by pecking his lips in a kiss. “Liam. Are you asking me out on a date even though we just had sex?”

Liam rubs a hand over the back of his neck. “Um. Yes?”

“I’d love to,” Louis grins, and his eyes actually sparkle.

Liam lips curve upward of their own accord. He doesn’t know what’s going to happen after this weekend, if this thing is only temporary, or – and he’s hoping this is the case – something more.

But. Right now, he’s got a date with the boy of his dreams and he plans to enjoy every second of it.

“C’mon, I just gotta grab the keys to the truck.”

Louis’ eyes light up. “You drive a pickup? You really are fulfilling my every fantasy, cowboy.”

Liam wraps an arm around his shoulder, tugging Louis into his side. “Maybe if you’re a good boy, I’ll fuck in you in the bed of the truck tonight under the stars,” he whispers into Louis’ ear. Louis chokes.

“That’s it. I’m keeping you,” Louis declares once he's recovered.

Liam presses his grin into Louis’ cheek. “That a promise?”

“Yeah,” Louis replies, voice soft. “I think maybe it is.”


End file.
